It's been a bit of a crazy year. And I've been doing a lot of writing, just not on this blog. Here's to attempt number two to be consistent, starting with a Thanksgiving post -- and on time this year too!

1. More repaved roads
   Last year I mentioned that the terrible road I ride to school/work had been repaved, but the (even worse) road to the grocery store had not. Now they've done that one too!
2. PhD candidate
   I hit a big milestone this year. By finishing my second qualifying paper, I am now in the final segment of my PhD. I'm officially done taking classes, and get to focus on my research.
3. Teaching a grad class
   My advisor had a bunch of students who wanted to do a directed reading with him, so he set up a proper class and hired me to do most of the instruction. It's been very fun, and very different from normal TA duties.
4. Networking
   I had a blast meeting other linguistics professors and students at several conferences this year. This might seem crazy since for me, as an introvert, business networking is basically the most unpleasant activity imaginable. I think the reason academic conferences are okay is because there's a real connection talking to people about their research when it's genuinely interesting to you, and vice versa. Also, linguists tend to be unusually nice.
5. Fellowship
   After several failures, I finally managed to get a small fellowship, which increases my graduate student stipend to a level that is no longer completely laughable. With Long Island housing prices, I can now afford to live in someone's basement all by myself!!!
6. Laptop miracle
   A few months ago I dropped my laptop straight down onto a hard floor. I was certain it was destroyed. No, not only was it completely okay, the condition actually improved, as whatever misaligned part was causing phantom scrolling since I got it is now fixed!
7. Survivor phone
   I bought a Sony Xperia XZ1 Compact in 2020. The phone itself came out in 2017. It was basically the last non-gigantic phone ever made, and I'm clinging to it as long as I can. So far, so good.
8. Fancy office
   I finally got around to getting myself a desk at my university's Institute for Advanced Computational Science. It's an open office, but they have windows. Windows!
9. Ghibli movie
   I adore Studio Ghibli, but they haven't produced much in the last few years. But this year Miyazaki himself directed a new film, which is supposed to come to the US soon. Very excited.
10. Direct flights
    It still takes forever to go home for a vacation -- three hours on trains and busses before I even get to the airport -- but at least LGA has frequent direct flights to where my family lives.

I'd like to start the new year with another song translation.

This is the ending theme to the Miyazaki film "Spirited Away", and one of the first Japanese songs I learned. It's somewhat melancholy, yet uplifting, and it's hard to convey just how simple yet beautiful the words are.

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Title: Itsumo Nando Demo (Always With Me)
Artist: Yumi Kimura
Composition: Yumi Kimura
Lyrics: Wakako Kaku

Japanese	English
Yondeiru mune no dokoka oku de	My heart calls from deep within
Itsumo kokoro odoru yume o mitai	I want to dream the dreams that move my heart
Kanashimi wa kazoekirenai keredo	Though my sorrows cannot be numbered
Sono mukou de kitto anata ni aeru	I know that I'll meet you on the other side
Kurikaesu ayamachi no sonotabi hito wa	Each time people repeat mistakes
Tada aoi sora no aosa o shiru	They simply learn to see the blue sky
Hateshinaku michi wa tsuzuite mieru keredo	Though the road ahead appears endless
Kono ryoute wa hikari o idakeru	In these hands I can embrace the light
Sayonara no toki no shizuka na mune	In times of farewell my heart becomes quiet
Zero ni naru karada ga mimi o sumaseru	And my empty body begins to listen
Ikiteiru fushigi shinde yuku fushigi	The mystery of living -- the mystery of dying --
Hana mo kaze mo machi mo minna onaji	The flowers, wind, and towns are all just the same
Yondeiru mune no dokoka oku de	My heart calls from deep within
Itsumo nando demo yume o egakou	Always and forever I will dream my dreams
Kanashimi no kazu o iitsukusu yori	Rather than listing my sorrows
Onaji kuchibiru de sotto utaou	I will use my lips to sing
Tojite yuku omoide no sono naka ni itsumo	I always listen to those whispers
Wasuretakunai sasayaki o kiku	Of fading memories I wish not to forget
Konagona ni kudakareta kagami no ue ni mo	Upon the fragments of a shattered mirror
Atarashii keshiki ga utsusareru	There dances a new scene
Hajimari no asa no shizuka na mado	A quiet window in a morning of beginnings
Zero ni naru karada mitasarete yuke	Let my empty body be filled!
Umi no kanata ni wa mou sagasanai	I will no longer look beyond the sea
Kagayaku mono wa itsumo koko ni	For I've found my own light
Watashi no naka ni mitsukerareta kara	It's right here within me

I am distinctly untalented at playing music. This is a fact that I'm quite convinced of, yet on several occasions when I've tried to express it to people I know I've been met with a lot of skepticism. If you heard me play, you probably wouldn't believe me either. But it's true: I do not have a talent for musical performance.

I play two instruments, piano and marimba (a keyboard percussion instrument, like a big xylophone). I've played the piano since 3rd grade. I wasn't particularly good at it as a child, and didn't put much effort into it until I was about 17. To give an idea of my level, I can play the first movement of Beethoven's Pathetique Sonata. This is not a hard piece. On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being "child's play" and 10 being "if you can play this you can play anything", it's maybe a 6.

Actually, it would be more accurate to say that I can almost play Mvt. I of Pathetique. I practiced this piece for hundreds of hours over the course of about 10 years, and I still can't quite play it properly. I can barely maintain the left hand tremolo that accompanies the second (fast) theme. I make constant flubs even when I'm well practiced. And there are a couple places where I simply can't execute the notes in time.

To be absolutely clear, this is not just about Beethoven's Pathetique. I have the same problems with other pieces: I don't have the dexterity to pull off technical maneuvers consistently, or at all in some cases, and even the easy stuff I frequently screw up. As for the marimba, for now let's just say my level of skill is comparable to my piano playing: I can play real, non-trivial pieces, but it's a massive struggle, and it took thousands of hours just to be passible. Basically, I am lacking in physical coordination.

But this only scratches the surface of what it means to perform music. I am also pretty bad at the expressive aspect, both in knowing what to do and in implementing it when I do have an idea in my mind for how I want the music to sound.

There are some things I do seem to be good at. I'm decent both at reading music off the page and also at memorizing it. My sense of rhythm is not bad for a keyboardist, though pretty poor for a percussionist. And I think I can feel classical music to some extent. It's hard to explain, but it kind of "makes sense" to me in a way that I think not everyone can relate to. But none of these skills are really exceptional, merely above average, and they're not enough to make up for my deficits -- there is no world in which I could have become a musician.

Mind you, this doesn't bother me all that much. In fact, I'm rather proud of my musical accomplishments precisely because what I know that they are solely due to my own hard work. Scott Alexander has a wonderful essay on this topic. Also, I enjoy playing, and indeed, practicing music. It's a bit like weight-lifting: it's uncomfortable, but not altogether unpleasant, and you gain endurance over time.

There are things that I am talented at, things that came naturally to me. Music is not one of them, and that's okay.

I've been using Linux in some capacity for over 10 years now, and it's been my primary operating system for about 7. For the most part, it's served my needs well. It's also been interesting to watch Linux mature as a desktop OS while Windows has mostly gotten worse over the same time period. In this post I want to talk a bit about my journey.

What even is Linux?

For those who aren't aware, Linux is one of the major general purpose operating systems, along with Windows and Mac OS. Linux is extremely prevalent on web servers, and utterly dominates scientific and high-performance computing, but is still pretty marginal on ordinary PCs. Technically, Android and ChromeOS are built on top of Linux, but these are very different products, and it's not helpful to lump them together.

There are a couple factors that distinguish Linux from its competitors. The first is that it is free and open source software ("FOSS"). This means that anyone can acquire, modify, and redistribute the source code. In the past, Linux was mostly developed by volunteers and hobbyists, but nowadays a large proportion of contributions come from corporations that use it as a foundation for various products and services.

The second distinguishing factor is that the various parts of the system, such as the Linux kernel (the core of the system) and the graphical and audio subsystems, are independent projects. These are assembled into complete systems called called "distros" (short for "distribution"). Most of the big distros that you may have heard of, like Ubuntu, Fedora, and Arch, are extremely similar to each other in terms of software composition. No matter which you use, you're getting the Linux kernel, X.Org or Wayland for graphics, PulseAudio for audio, and so on. Because of this, which to use mostly comes down to personal preference.

Perhaps the coolest thing about Linux from the user perspective is that there are several completely different graphical interfaces available, called "desktop environments". Imagine being able to put the Mac interface on your Windows 10 installation, or vice versa. That's basically the situation with Linux. If one desktop environment doesn't suit your fancy, you can swap it for another.

Early Experiments

I'm not sure exactly when I first discovered Linux, though in high school I had a friend who had it installed on his PS3 (yes, you could do that back then!), along with an old desktop. Partly inspired by this, I played around with Ubuntu and several other distros using virtual machines.

A virtual machine is exactly what it sounds like. Basically, it's a program that you run on your computer like any other, which allows you to run a whole other operating system inside. From the perspective of the "guest" operating system, it's just running on ordinary computer hardware, but this is an illusion created by the virtual machine software. In reality, it's sharing the hardware of the "host" system. From the user perspective you get a normal window showing the virtual display. You can click into it and use your keyboard like any other program, give it pass-through internet access and so on. The concept is similar to but not exactly the same as an emulator, which simulates a completely different kind of computer (emulators are commonly used for playing old video games on modern computers).

The software I was using is called VirtualBox, and it's still around today. I highly recommend it as a way of getting your feet wet. You can install and try out different distros without affecting your current setup, and you can experiment to your heart's content with essentially no risk of damage to the host system.

It was probably around 2008 when I started doing this. Linux really wasn't ready for prime time yet, though things were changing rapidly. I experimented a lot with Ubuntu, then a newcomer, which was more polished and user friendly that its competitors at the time.

But there were a lot of stupid problems. I remember "not having permission" to use my CD burner. Thinking myself clever, I opened the command line and used "sudo" command to start the CD burning program as the superuser (=administrator). This worked, but it also broke the graphical system, and the next time I started the virtual machine I could only log in to the command line. It turns out you're only supposed to use "sudo" with command line programs (this is a common beginner mistake). Sure, I was able to fix the problem by Googling, but not being allowed to use your CD burner by default is a pretty stupid design.

Suffice to say, the situation is lot better nowadays. Actually, things really started to come together within the next couple of years, and I think this was in part because of the level of community engagement at the time. Unfortunately, the cloud and mobile revolutions in the mid 2010s soon sucked attention away from desktop computing -- it wasn't "hip" anymore. Progress has been a lot slower since then.

Linux for Programming

In college we used Linux for most of my computer science classes. We were taught how to use SSH to log in to a server, and navigate using the terminal (command line), and write our programs in Vim (a hardcore programming text editor). I kept up with the first two, but gave up on Vim after a semester -- it was just too weird. Nowadays I could probably make myself learn it, but now I have Sublime Text, which basically does everything I could possibly ask for.

The department's Linux desktops and servers all ran Debian. The only reason I knew this was because of the default desktop background. Since everything was managed by the department, the choice of distro was more or less irrelevant for us.

I feel like I really got going one summer when I worked as a research assistant for a computer science lab. I was basically a grunt programmer, but it was a perfect opportunity to work on my techie skills while getting paid. We had a little robot running Ubuntu, and we offloaded some of the heavy lifting to another Ubuntu computer.

I taught myself how to install and configure all the software we needed. By the end of the summer, I more or less knew what I was doing.

In the process, I also got used to using Ubuntu for everyday tasks. I was using Gnome 2 as my desktop environment, the default at the time. It was basically fine. The interface was snappy, updates were quick and painless, and I had Firefox, LibreOffice, and Dropbox. When there was a problem, it was very easy to ask Google what package I needed to install, or what setting to change.

My understanding is that by this point there were two big issues holding Linux back: (1) hardware compatibility and (2) inability to run most games and commercial software. My work computer was a generic Dell desktop; if you had a laptop and the WiFi didn't work then you were pretty much out of luck. Likewise, I had no need for any specific proprietary software at work. Both of these issues have diminished considerably in the years since then, but I think they are still the two major sticking points.

I continued to use Windows on my personal computer mostly for software reasons, but I installed Linux Mint in a dual-boot configuration for programming. Linux provides a way better programming environment than Windows, especially for beginners. Make a little Python program, type "python name-of-program.py", and you're on your way. Only in the last few years has the gap narrowed at all, thanks in part to WSL 2, which is basically a glorified virtual machine. In any case, by this point I more or less knew that I'd be able to switch to Linux full time should I feel inclined.

Goodbye, Windows

It was an incident at work while I was teaching English in Japan that prompted me to finally pull the trigger. My computer decided to reboot and install updates right before I was about to teach a class. As anyone who has ever used a Windows computer knows, this can take forever. I lost precious class time, and I was pissed. My lessons were not the kind where you could just stop when the bell rang and pick up the next day. I only saw my kids once a month -- if the day's activity couldn't be finished in 45 minutes then that was it, the end. But I digress.

It's possible that I had left to do something and the usual 15 minute countdown appeared---and concluded---while I was gone, or it could have been an irregularity. The fact of the matter is that this sort of thing is not acceptable. I will decide whether or not now is an okay time to update my computer.

By this time Windows 10 was already out, and I knew that this sort of behavior was becoming a matter of policy -- you didn't own your computer anymore. So, I decided that this would be a good time to try making Linux my primary operating system. I started doing all my work on my Linux Mint install, only switching back to Windows when absolutely necessary, which it rarely was.

I transitioned from Microsoft Office to LibreOffice. Some of my programs, like Firefox and Dropbox, were already available on Linux, so no change there. I switched from Notepad++ to Sublime Text, and couldn't be happier. I really only missed two things: Age of Empires (an RTS game) and Sibelius (music composition software). Even so, I could boot back into Windows just for those, so who cares. I already had a desktop at home that only ran Linux Mint, so I was already used to that as well.

And that was basically it. In my day-to-day life, Linux has suited me just fine, though there have been a few hiccups. I'll mention a couple big ones.

For various reasons, I experimented with several desktop environments, eventually settling on KDE, which I consider to be the true successor to old-school Windows. So what was the problem? Well, the transition from KDE 4 to version 5 was happening around this time, and it was a bit messy. The first few releases of KDE 5, officially "Plasma 5", were so buggy that they were unusable, while KDE 4 was no longer being developed, and therefore not receiving any improvements. Linux Mint, which tracks the LTS (2 year release cycle) version of Ubuntu, was stuck on the frozen KDE 4, while the most recent non-LTS (6 month) releases of Ubuntu had the buggy Plasma 5. By 2016, though, Plasma 5 was more or less fine, and it has only gotten better and better since then. Linux Mint discontinued their KDE release, so I went with Ubuntu.

Another problem is that Ubuntu started to go down in quality of releases, failing to fix old problems while creating new ones. For example, in one release they broke Bluetooth, then refused to fix it for "stability" reasons. You see, in Linux distro world, "stable" doesn't mean "works as intended and doesn't crash"; it means "no changes in functionality". Never mind the fact that broken software is, well, broken, and therefore useless. Anyway, it was a simple matter of installing the bugfix via the lovely Ubuntu PPA system.

If you think this sounds kind of crappy, well, it is. But the thing is, if Ubuntu ever becomes intolerable, it's very easy to switch to something else. If Microsoft, Apple, or Google ruins something for you, you have no recourse; with Linux, you have options.

At the same time, I've been watching Windows going downhill since Windows 8, while Linux has been improving. I've had the exquisite displeasure of helping family members troubleshoot and fix the most insane problems with Windows 10---things that never could have happened with Linux, nor with Windows 7---and you know what, I think I'm getting a better deal right now.

My computer is snappy and responsive despite being 5 years old and only having a dual-core CPU. My software updates are instantaneous and rarely require reboots; upgrading to the next version of Ubuntu takes minutes, not hours. Plasma 5 is beautiful, functional, and customizable; Windows 10 is ugly and full of irritating pop-ups, advertisements, and spyware. I can install almost all of my software automatically with a single command if I ever need to setup a new computer. Some of my old games that I play using Wine or in a virtual machine don't work on recent versions of Windows anyway.

Oh, and before you suggest that I get a Mac: no. Apple's computers are overpriced, I don't like their hardware or their software, and I still can't play my games without Wine.

Linux for everyone?

So, you might be wondering if I recommend other people to switch to Linux nowadays. Actually, no, not necessarily. Linux is ideal for two groups of people: those with very basic needs, who basically spend all their time in a web browser, and power users, who are willing to take the time to learn how to setup and maintain their system. For everyone else, it depends.

Again, hardware and software compatibility are the big problems. You can, and should, put Linux on a flash drive and give it a test run (the installer for most distros doubles as a demo system). If it works well on your computer, great! If it doesn't work right, and you're not willing to fiddle around to make it work, then that's that. Likewise if you need MS Office, or the Adobe suite, or whatever.

Also, you need to find a desktop environment that suits your preferences. If you liked Windows 7, then I think you'll love KDE/Plasma. If you are used to Mac OS, you might prefer Gnome. And if the first thing you try isn't quite right, you'll need to experiment, because there are several good options out there. If this is fun for you like it is for me, then go for it. But the fact is that a lot of people just don't care that much, and find this to be too much effort.

Finally, there's the problem of choosing a distro. I'm of the opinion that it doesn't matter that much. I suggest Ubuntu (or it's close relative, Linux Mint), not because I'm convinced that it's the best, but because it's available with almost every major desktop environment, and it's popular, so it's easy to get help. But if you have a friend or family member who can provide you with tech support and they use something else, then maybe try that instead.

But do give Linux a try. You just might like it.

What if I told you that you can do math with language? What, you didn't think math was about numbers, did you? Sure, you can do math with numbers, but you can also do math with all sorts of things.

Here, I'll show you. We're going to use strings. These are just sequences of arbitrary symbols. Traditionally we the lowercase letters a, b, c, d, etc., but you could use anything. I think it would be fun to use little shapes like ♠♣♥♦, but they're too hard to type, so we'll do it the old fashioned way.

A string consists of zero or more symbols in linear order. So a is a string, as is ab, and abcabcaaaaaa. There is only one string of length zero, which is called the "empty string". It's notated ϵ (Greek lowercase epsilon).

So what can you do with strings? Well, you can stick them together, one after the other. The fancy word for this is "concatenatation".

ab + cd = abcd

Adding (concatenating) the empty string to either side of another string just gives you the same string back.

abc + ϵ = ϵ + abc = abc

If you've even done any kind of programming, this should be familiar. Programmers are used to the idea of making up new kinds of objects and operations.

What are some other things you can do with strings? Well, you can repeat a string some number of times. This is notated with a superscript, like raising a number to a power. For example, a⁵b⁵ is short for aaaaabbbbb, and (ab)³ = ababab.

You can also substitute a string into another. The notation I've see for this uses a dotted circle (⊙) for this operation, and the string on the left side needs to have a box (□) showing where to insert the string on the right.

l□r ⊙ c = lcr

Okay, so what exactly is this good for? Well, just as you can use numbers to model phenomena in physics or economics, you can use strings to model language. I'm still thinking about to talk about this in a way that keeps things light and fun, so you'll just have to wait for part two.

Technically I'm several weeks late, but really there's never a bad time to spend some time focusing on gratitude. Here's a few things that I'm feeling thankful for, in no particular order.

1. New friends
   Let's just say that moving across the country at the height of COVID was not conducive to building a new social network. In the last year or so I've finally made a couple of good friends. Hopefully there will be many more to come.
2. New family
   I have some distant relatives who live in Manhattan. They lived out of the country for most of my life, and then I lived out of the country, so I hadn't met them until I moved to the area. They're really wonderful people, and it's so nice to be able to stay at their place overnight rather than spending two hours on the train each way just to get half a day in the city.
3. My advisor
   There's no single person who makes a bigger difference to someone's PhD experience than their advisor, and I found myself a great one.
4. Repaved roads
   The roads where I live are in apalling condition. I was foolish enough to buy a commuter bike when you basically need a mountain bike to ride on them. But all of a sudden they decided to repave the road I use to get to work, and it's sooo pleasant now. Now if they would just redo the road to the grocery store...
5. Free gym
   My campus gym has its downsides, but it's convenient, and I can get the membership fee reimbursed each year.
6. Improving health
   I developed some health problems a few years ago that made life way harder than it should be. But things have been slowly getting better, and in the last few months I've been feeling close to normal again.
7. Research progress
   Most PhD students in the U.S. work as teaching or research assistants to fund their education. I like teaching, but it's a gigantic time sink, especially when you're still taking classes yourself. Fortunately, I've had a position as a research assistant for the last two years. It's the only reason I get anything done.
8. Acceptance
   I only came out as gay a couple years ago. Fortunately, it's been about as uneventful as one could hope for. It's a huge weight off my shoulders.
9. Discount baked goods
   There's almost always something good in my grocery store in the back corner where they put the slightly old bread, cake, pie, and cookies.
10. Hot showers
    There are all sorts of ordinary things that make me really happy, but this is the first that came to mind, so it's the one to round out the list.

This is the ending song to the anime TV show Bakemonogatari. It's a real gem -- beautiful melody and lyrics, and adjusted an octave down it even fits my vocal range! You can find it on Youtube.

I often find Japanese song lyrics difficult to understand. There's a lot of ambiguity as to which lines go together in a way that can greatly change the interpretation, especially if you are not a native speaker. This one, though, I think I basically understand, which is why I've decided to write it up first.

I provide only the romanization and translation below. You can find the original Japanese here. This translation is loose and not matched to the rhythm of the song. Also, sorry about the weird formatting -- I'm using Markdown tables.

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Title: Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari (The Story You Don't Know)
Lyrics/Composition: ryo
Performer: supercell

Japanese	English
Itsumodoori no aru hi no koto	On one completely ordinary day
Kimi wa totsuzen tachiagari itta	You suddenly stood up and said
"Konya hoshi wo mi ni ikou"	"Let's go stargazing tonight!"
"Tama ni wa ii koto iu n da ne"	"Every once in a while you have a good idea!"
Nante minna shite itte waratta	We all said laughing
Akari mo nai michi wo	While gleefully trapsing down
Baka mitai ni hashaide aruita	A completely unlit road
Kakaekonda kodoku ya fuan ni	As we tried to supress the anxiety
Oshitsubusarenai you ni	That was weighing on us
Makkura na sekai kara miageta	We looked up from the blackness
Yozora wa hoshi ga furu you de	The stars looked as if they might fall from the sky
Itsu kara darou kimi no koto wo	How long has it been, I wonder
Oikakeru watashi ga ita	Since I've been chasing after you?
Dou ka onegai	Please, I beg you
Odorokanaide kiite yo	Don't freak out when I tell you
Watashi no kono omoi wo	How I feel about you
"Are ga Denebu, Arutairu, Bega"	"There's Deneb, Altair, Vega"
Kimi wa yubisasu natsu no daisankaku	I remember you pointing out
Oboete sora wo miru	The Summer Triangle
Yatto mitsuketa Orihime-sama	Look, I found Orihime!
Dakedo doko darou Hikoboshi-sama	But where's her Hikoboshi?
Kore ja hitori bocchi	They'll be lonely like this
Tanoshige na hitotsu tonari no kimi	Laying right beside your cheery self
Watashi wa nanimo ienakute	I couldn't utter a word
Hontou wa zutto kimi no koto wo	The truth is that somewhere deep down
Dokoka de wakatteita	I already knew how I felt about you
Mitsukattatte todoki wa shinai	But I just couldn't say it
Dame da yo nakanaide	No, don't cry
Sou iikikaseta	I told myself
Tsuyogaru watashi wa okubyou de	I acted like a coward
Kyoumi ga nai you na furi wo shiteta	Pretending I had no interest in you
Dakedo	And yet
Mune wo sasu itami wa mashiteku	I felt a sharp pain in my chest
Aa sou ka suki ni naru tte	And I realized this is how it feels
Kou iu koto nan da ne	To fall in love
Dou shitai? Itte goran	Tell me, what do you want?
Kokoro no koe ga suru	My heart called out
Kimi no tonari ga ii	I want to be with you
Shinjitsu wa zankoku da	Reality is so cruel
Iwanakatta	I didn't say it
Ienakatta	I couldn't say it
Nido to modorenai	And now there's no going back
Ano natsu no hi	That summer night
Kirameku hoshi	The twinkling stars
Ima demo omoidaseru yo	I remember them clearly even now
Waratta kao mo	I remember your smile
Okotta kao mo	And also your frown
Daisuki deshita	I loved them both
Okashii yo ne	Isn't it strange?
Wakatteta no ni	Even though I knew
Kimi no shiranai	You never did know
Watashi dake no himitsu	My secret
Yoru wo koete	In a distant memory
Tooi omoide no kimi ga	From that night
Yubi wo sasu	You pointed to the sky
Mujaki na koe de	And started to say...

It was probably about 5 years ago that I learned about the Five Factor model of personality. I'm sure it was mentioned in the intro psychology class that I took years earlier, but anyway this time it stuck. And it completely changed how I think about people. It's almost frightening how clearly you can see the five traits once you know what to look for.

It's pretty easy to find information on this subject, so I'll focus on giving an impression of what the factors are. No sources cited, so take everything I say with a grain of salt. I want to keep this blog casual, and give myself a break from the kind of writing I do for my job. Onward!

The Big Five

The five factors are as follows:

• Extroversion
• Conscientiousness
• Agreeableness
• Neuroticism
• Openness

Each of these is a continuous variable -- you have some people that score very high, some that score very low, and everything in between. Also, they are normally distributed, so most people are somewhere in the middle range for each, with the extremes being comparatively rare. Finally, they are mostly uncorrelated with each other. This means that any particular individual might have any combination of values for each of the five factors. So if you wanted to classify people into personality types, and divided each factor into just three levels (low, medium, and high), you would get 3^5, or 243 distinct personality types.

This seems about right to me. It's hard to place people accurately into a small number of boxes, but at the same time they are not infinitely different from one another. You can see recurring patterns.

Unlike some of the other schemes you may have heard of (such as the ever popular Myers-Briggs), the Five Factor model actually has a sound scientific basis. Actually, it's pretty much the only game in town. The research shows effect sizes larger than almost anything else in all of social science.

Without further ado, I'll describe what each end of the spectrum looks like for each trait, but it's important to remember that most people show a bit of each side.

Extroversion

The fundamental characteristic of extroversion is sensitivity to stimulation.

Extroverts need a lot of stimulation. This is why they are stereotypically adventurous, thrill-seeking, and above all, sociable. Humans are social creatures, so social interaction is a particularly good way for extroverts to get their stimulation fix.

Introverts, naturally, are the opposite. Introverts are strongly effected by external stimuli. As a result, they don't need as much stimulation to reach a comfortable level, and can easily be pushed beyond this level. This explains why introverts find socializing tiring. It's not that they don't need or like it (at least, not necessarily), it's that you can have too much of a good thing.

I am fairly introverted. Occasionally I doubt this when I find myself having to take the lead in making small talk or inviting people to do things. But social interaction definitely tires me out, which more or less cinches it.

Conscientiousness

This is probably the most obvious of the five factors. Conscientious people are neat, organized, and hard-working. Unconscientious people are, well, not so much.

Each of the five factors actually has two semi-distinct subfactors, which are highly but not perfectly correlated with each other. I forget what all 10 of the subfactors are, but the two subfactors of conscientiousness, orderliness and industriousness, are clear and memorable.

Orderliness includes the "neat and organized" part. Orderly people notice things that are dirty, cluttered, or just wrong, and want to fix them. The way this works is by threshold sensitivity -- a person scoring at level X for orderliness will notice and be bothered by things that for a person at level X+1 simply do not register. Orderliness is also associated with disgust sensitivity, the main negative emotion that does not correlate with neuroticism.

Industriousness is the "hard-working" part. Industrious people work at things diligently even if they are not enjoyable, even if they would rather be doing something else. If an industrious person feels obligated to do something, they are not likely to half-ass it or quit. Less industrious people, in comparison, are quicker to throw in the towel.

I'm definitely conscientious, probably about equal in orderliness and industriousness. What's a bit odd about me is that I aspire to be more conscientious than I actually am. My room, for example, is often in a state that I would describe as an "organized mess". Everything has a place, but it's not exactly pretty, and wow, it's kind of dusty, and those papers really should be cleaned out. Similarly, I have a certain amount of trouble getting things done. I frequently make plans and checklists, then proceed to completely ignore them. Ultra-organized people impress me more than anything. Who knows, maybe all conscientious people are secretly like this.

Agreeableness

Agreeableness is basically niceness.

Agreeable people want to get along with others, and are concerned for their happiness and well-being. The former means that they tend to be polite, and avoid "rocking the boat". The latter leads to nurturing and self-sacrificing behavior, and being deeply invested in personal relationships. Disagreeable people, in contrast, could care less what others think or feel.

Interestingly, it turns out that agreeableness is inversely correlated with competitiveness. Disagreeable people are usually very competitive, while agreeable people usually are not. What's probably going on is that it is the nurturing aspect of agreeableness that is the opposite of competitiveness.

I think I'm fairly agreeable, though there's a bit of ambiguity on this one. I can also be very blunt, which is not supposed to be typical of agreeable people. I have a theory for this, but it's too vague to try to explain here.

Neuroticism

Neuroticism is general sensitivity to negative emotions: sadness, anxiety, anger, guilt, etc. Everything except for disgust, as mentioned earlier. Neurotic people are more likely than non-neurotic to get upset when bad things happen, and to get very upset when very bad things happen.

It's a bit strange compared to the other traits, in that high neuroticism seems to be mostly a bad thing. For example, high neuroticism is associated with risk of clinical anxiety and depression. This certainly seems maladaptive, since these conditions generally make it harder to deal with one's problems.

As someone who is moderately neurotic, I would speculate that the benefit of negative emotions is that they can serve as a wake-up call when things are amiss. For example, I get pretty upset with myself when I think I screwed up somehow, more so when I know that I screwed up. This is a pretty strong motivator to never make the same mistake again. Life is probably easier for non-neurotic people, but there are downsides to being too happy-go-lucky as well.

Openness

Openness includes both openness to ideas and openness to experience.

Open people are interested in learning and doing new things, including but not limited to creative pursuits like art and music. What draws them in is not popularity or practicality, but the intrinsic fascination of the the thing itself. They are also inclined to change their beliefs when presented with new information.

Non-open people are more comfortable with what they already know. They are less likely to see the value in the new and different -- what's wrong with the way we've always done things? They also tend to be resistant to changing their beliefs, even when presented with strong evidence. Maybe they'll come around eventually, but maybe not.

As will probably come as no surprise, I'm very high in openness. I'm doing a PhD after all -- it's kind of a prerequisite.

Extroversion + Openness - Neuroticism = Adventurousness?

What's really cool about the Five Factor model is that you can see how the different personality traits interact. For example, introverted people are not necessarily shy, but people who are both introverted and neurotic are likely to be. Similarly, conscientiousness plus neuroticism is a recipe for perfectionism. Low conscientiousness and high openness, plus maybe a dash of agreeableness, makes a hippy, the opposite, a prude. Extroversion plus agreeableness is that person who is super bubbly and nice to everyone. Disagreeableness and low openness is that insufferable jackass whose actions can't possibly be wrong. Don't take my word for it though -- pay attention and see what you can pick out.

Are there good and bad personality types?

I think that each side of each individual trait probably has its advantages and disadvantages. For example, it might seem like high agreeableness is basically a good thing, but it's not that simple. Agreeable people have a tendency not to stand up for themselves, and extremely high agreeableness makes makes people susceptible to abuse. Also recall the idea about neuroticism I mentioned earlier.

As for combinations of traits, I think that high agreeableness and openness help to ameliorate some of the negative aspects of other personality traits, especially when it comes to dealing with other people. Openness helps you understand that not everyone is like you, and agreeableness provides motivation to try to get along. On the other hand, the opposite values make things much worse (what I called the jackass type above). From the perspective of a person like this, they are obviously right and you are wrong, and who gives a damn what you think anyway. This has been on my mind a lot lately, due to dealing with a person who is pretty extreme in this regard.

Can you change your personality?

The answer is basically "no". While personality, like many things, develops from the interaction of genetics and individual experience, by the time you are an adult your personality is basically set. This might be disappointing, but it's not all doom and gloom.

First of all, simply understanding your personality can make it possible to leverage your strengths while compensating for your weaknesses, and the clear picture provided by the Five Factor model helps a lot with this. It is possible, with effort, to build habits that go against your natural instincts.

Also, personality is not the entirety of who you are. Your knowledge and beliefs about the world are important too. So, for example, if you are neurotic, one of the things you can do to make life easier is to at least try to avoid getting upset when nothing is wrong. Hardly anyone noticed that flub during your presentation, and they won't remember anyway. No, that person probably doesn't hate you, they're probably just stressed. And so on.

Don't take it personally

I've been thinking a lot about personality lately, so I'll probably have more to say in the future. Until then!

I thought it might be fun to try blogging.

I was talking to a friend recently, and he vouched for the value of keeping a journal. I agreed with him. In fact, I was convinced of the value of journaling when I was 18. Many years later, I've never succeeded at making it a habit.

Blogging is something else I've never done. Maybe this will stick.

If you're wondering about the title, it's intended to be meaningless...mostly.

See you around!